Monday, March 2, 2009

A Werd Or Too On Spalling Miztakes

Dear Schmeat -

Let me make this brief, for fear that if I become overly wordy I'll make some irreparable spelling errors that Blogspot's spellcheck won't catch, thus saddling me with a sense of shame that I try to reserve for those rare times when I misspeak in public, and leaving my otherwise pithy, brilliant blogs riddled with more errors than were otherwise intended.

It seems to me that the spellcheck on here is not completely accurate, and I am beginning to have a sneaking suspicion that there are only three plausible reasons why a word misspelled in my blog would go unencumbered with an undulating red line.
  1. The spellchecker is making a conscious effort make me look like a fool in front of the potential millions of readers (or the actual two) by leaving my errors unattended or..
  2. The spellchecker, itself, has such a poor grasp of prose that it cannot even manage even the most elementary guess at the spelling of some words I find at Thesaurus.com
...And don't get me started on grammar....this thing doesn't seem to have any problem with my complete and utter disregard for the rules governing comma use, nor does it seem to mind my habit of turning proper nouns to verbs any part of speech into an adjective.

The reason matters not. What is important is that I am onto your scheme spellcheck, and let me forewarn you. Only one man has the power to completely humiliate me in an all-too-public arena like the World Wide Web, and that man is me. (The definition of man being used here is a loose interpretation, roughly akin to "adolescent over the age of 18")

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